He Will Help Rewrite Your Story
Self Examination
Just the other day I sat with a single sheet of paper listing 40-50 sins and struggles, that had been photocopied and provided to me. Some raw and obvious, others not so much. I read each word slowly:
Sex addiction. Pride. Pornography. Drunkenness. Arrogance. People‑pleasing. Worry. Lust. Cheating. Adultery. Fornication. Gossip. Hopelessness. Hoarding. Lying. Judging others. Manipulation. Jealousy and envy. Disobedience. Drugs, substance abuse, and pills. Homosexual encounters. Workaholism. Resentment and bitterness. Selfishness. Idolatry of self‑image. Addiction to approval. Passivity. Materialism. Victim of abuse or abuser-physically, emotionally, sexually. Fear of failure and rejection. Greed. Guilt, Shame… and the list went on.
One by one I circled the items that I had either struggled with or had been affected by. As I worked down the page, something unexpected happened. I began to feel relief. Not because the things on that paper were insignificant but because seeing them in black and white reminded me that I am not the only one. I began to wonder how a list like this ever came to exist in the first place. How could someone put words to the things so many of us even struggle to say aloud? Then the answer dawned on me: these things are known and have been seen before. Women have carried them, wrestled with them, hidden them, and survived them.
Revelation unlocked - we (both you and I) simply carry some of the same things and are not alone.
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In Lamentations 3:40 we read, “Let us test and examine our ways, and return to the Lord.” These words come from a people in the grip of suffering and discomfort. Personally, I don’t hear a lot about Lamentations, but I see why it is placed in Scripture, as it gives voice to suffering, confession, and the impulse to turn back to God.
In that spirit, the paper exercise became a way of examining my habits. It was used to bring my faults into the light, to admit honestly where I had failed, and to chart a path forward toward a life that pleases Him. I’m still working through it. At the time of this writing I continue to reflect on my flaws and shortcomings as I pray over them nearly every day. It was through this reflection that confession began and has made a way for me to begin again with purpose and joy.
Redemption Stories
The enemy wants you to believe complete isolation is your only reality. He will make you believe that no one else knows what you know, feels what you feel, or battles what you battle. And that there is absolutely no way to turn your life around. But that’s a lie.
Remember Moses: called, flawed, fearful and still used by God.
Remember David: a shepherd boy placed on the throne as king, yet still a man who sinned deeply through murder, adultery, and lust and needed mercy.
Remember Paul: a man who persecuted Christians and approved of their persecution, yet was transformed and used mightily by God.
Remember Joseph: he didn’t choose his circumstances, but his circumstances chose him. Maybe that’s your story. He was betrayed by his brothers, misunderstood, looked down upon, imprisoned, and abandoned. Yet God was with him through it all.
And the list is endless of Biblical men and women who all fell into the trap of and/or were affected greatly by sin. Yet, in all these stories, and so many more, we see redemption time and time again. You too can begin your redemption story. All is takes is for you to turn toward Him and He will help you.
Time with the Lord
Sometimes, those of us who are walking closely with the Lord can sound like we are speaking a different language. And in some ways, I understand why. When you are reading the Word, seeking the Lord, and walking with the Holy Spirit, you are engaging in something deeply spiritual. It can feel like an entirely different realm, and sometimes only those who have encountered Him in that same way can fully understand the language.
Even while editing this journal entry, I re-read the sentence written above: “All it takes is for you to turn toward Him and He will help you.” I can imagine how cliche or even impossible that sentence might sound to someone who isn’t walking with the Lord. In remembering the exact days of my brokenness as if it were yesterday, if someone would have said that same sentence to me, I likely would’ve given a mean look and a few choice words in return. Because in that moment, I didn’t want a spiritual cliche, I wanted something tangible: a shoulder to cry on, a physical presence, a voice that would listen. Eventually, those things came, but not immediately. Even still, I was not alone and if you’re going through the same, you aren’t either.
For a few weeks, I had to sit in my sorrow with only the Lord beside me. Fellowship came later. Looking back, even though only a few months have passed, I see that God was and still is preparing me. I needed time with Him in that moment and still do. Uninterrupted time. And perhaps that was the fellowship I needed first, not the kind that came through another person, but the kind that could only come from sitting with the Lord in the middle of my sorrow. Before He sent people to meet me where I was, He met me there Himself. Take a look at these verses:
God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. -Psalm 46:1
The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. -Deuteronomy 31:8
The Bible contains numerous passages that convey this same message, over and over and over again. He is with us and will never leave.
Though I’m grateful for the fellowship and for the precious people the Lord has brought into my life (thank you for putting up with me HA), I’ve learned that above all I need the Lord’s companionship.
The Healthy Woman Makes Way for the Healing Woman
If you’re reading this and thinking, “That’s not me right now,” and you’re reading my journal entries simply in support of my journey or out of curiosity, first: thank you; second: I want you to stay with me for a moment.
If you’re a believer, we are all in this together. You are a vital piece in making a hurting woman not feel alone. At different points in our lives, we may find ourselves as the woman who is struggling or the woman who is not. And when you find yourself in a season of health, you have an opportunity to make way for the woman who is healing. You are not simply an observer, a judger, or a gossiper. You are the hands of Jesus.
Scripture gives us so many examples of people who extended mercy, grace, forgiveness, and compassion to those in desperate circumstances (Jesus, the father of the prodigal son, Boaz, etc) . Let the fruit of the Spirit in you bless even those who have been in the wrong and who have been wronged. Let your compassion reach beyond the people whose circumstances you understand. I’ve found my self on the receiving end of this type of love given by amazing women of faith and I can promise that it is an important component to someone’s healing.
And remember, if you find yourself judging someone else’s struggle because you cannot relate to it, perhaps that is precisely where the Lord has something to teach you.
A Personal Note
If you’re in a season of crisis and feeling broken, here are practical steps you can begin using right away. I wrote these down one morning after sitting with a pen and paper. They aren’t a formula or conditions for relationship with the Lord, just practices shaped by what I’ve lived through over the past several months. They helped me keep moving forward, even while triggers and aftermaths are still present.
Please know this: God’s love is unconditional. Following the prescribed checklist isn’t required to gain any type of favor, as salvation is a free gift. (Thank you to my friend, confidante, unofficial editor for prompting me to add that statement.)
Stop, Get Still
Name It
Repent
Open the Word
Pray for Clarity
Listen for the Holy Spirit - See prior journal entry related to Holy Spirit and knowing it’s He who is speaking.
Seek Godly Counsel and Fellowship
Remove what Keeps Pulling you Back
Keep Surrendering Every Moment of Every Day
Over the next few entries, I’ll try to share glimpses into my personal experiences with all 9 of these. I hope you find comfort in knowing that you are not alone and that the Lord, too, can help you write your redemption story.
Ashley’s Recommended Resources for seasons of Brokenness
Bible: Romans 8 and Lamentations
Book: Forgotten God: Reversing Our Tragic Neglect of the Holy Spirit, Frances Chan
Music Playlist Selection: Song of Songs, Gracie Binion; Love Note, Upperroom
Disclaimer: This article was self-written and not the product of AI. Any use of dashes was intentionally placed by the author.